You know you’re from Maui when…

1. You have partied in either a cane or pineapple field because house parties are basically nonexistent
2. People chase their shots here, even if it’s with beer
3. The only real keg parties are in Hana/ Honomanu
4. People don't use shot glasses
5. If someone doesn’t have their shirt on at a party they are looking to fight
6. Girl fights are cherished not looked down upon
7. You know someone who has been tasered by the cops or heard about it
8. You know there is no such thing as a MIP or MIC, much less an enforced curfew
9. You like lifted trucks
10. You have no idea how to give directions by highway number and because of that tourists think you’re fucking them over
11. You have given someone wrong directions
12. You know who the tourists are and what classifies as a tourists car
13. There is no concept of a fast lane
14. You have been asked if you have electricity
15. You call the entire continental United States “the Mainland”
16. You have been asked if you are Hawaiian even if you’re extremely white
17. You have called someone else haole even if you are white
18. You’ve been asked to speak Hawaiian
19. You think it’s weird when someone tells you they’ve never seen the ocean
20. You know someone who has never seen the snow or been to the Mainland
21. You get irritated when someone pronounces something wrong and laugh at them
22. The legal speed limit doesn’t exceed 55mph
23. People never follow the speed limit
24. You’re used to seeing people dressed in the minimal amount of clothing
25. If you’re a girl, you own a brazilian bikini or smaller
26. Non reggae concerts are extremely rare
27. Clubs don’t have 18 and over nights
28. It’s slippers not flip-flops, soda not pop, shoyu not soy sauce, saimin not ramen
29. If you’re a girl you have owned a pair of black Scott’s or something very similar
30. You know to take your shoes off when going inside someone’s house
31. If you see an abandoned car on the side of the road you know it will either get stolen, stripped down, lit on fire, or all of the above
32. You eat spam and know it is served at some restaurants
33. You have eaten seaweed and know there is another name for it
34. You spent most of your childhood barefoot
35. You know what your Hawaiian name is
36. Smoking weed is excepted and very common even in public places
37. You’ve smoked weed with your friend’s mom
38. You can drive around the island in an entire day if you really want to
39. Your hair is naturally highlighted
40. Li hing mui is used to season basically everything even beer
41. You get a ton of leis at graduation or any other special occasion
42. You say yeah at the end of every sentence
43. You honk in the tunnel
44. You know where the sharks hang out
45. There are no trains, snakes, or poison ivy
46. You go to Makena/Big beach on Sundays
47. The grocery store sells liquor even on Sundays
48. You go to Front St. for Halloween
49. You think it's weird when people don't like fish or sushi
50. People are very territorial, for example you cen get your ass kicked for claiming south side on the south side
51. You know that pigeon is not just a bird and ice is not just something you put in a drink
52. You can't really go anywhere without seeing someone you know
53. You feel weird not having tan lines
54. You're a lot more used to turning on the cold water in sinks and therefore freeze your hands during winter
55. You know that Jack Johnson and Pepper are from Hawaii, and probably saw them before they got big
56. When people on the mainland complain about gas prices you just laugh
57. You remember how excited people were when we got a WalMart
58. Something like kids playing in a sprinkler will make the front page picture of the Maui News with maybe a little side note about what's going on in the world
59. You can swim in the ocean any time of the year
60. The whole Daylight Savings thing seems strange to you
61. You know that 'Maui Fever' is not an accurate portrayal of Maui
62. You've been asked if you need a passport to go home. REALLY?